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Writer's pictureJohn Lao, LPN3, VWCN, First Aid/CPR/AED Instructor

Addressing Driving Privileges with Elderly Loved Ones

As our loved ones age, it's natural for their abilities to change, including their driving skills. Recognizing when it's time to reassess driving privileges can be a difficult and emotional conversation.


Elderly couple on a roadtrip
Navigating a Delicate Conversation: Addressing Driving Privileges with Elderly Loved Ones

Following are guidelines to help families approach this sensitive topic with compassion and understanding.


1. Observe Subtle Changes

  • Changes in Driving Habits: Have you noticed changes in their driving style, such as speeding, aggressive driving, or erratic lane changes?

  • Getting Lost: Is your loved one having trouble finding familiar places or following directions?

  • Near Misses: Are there more close calls or instances of almost hitting objects or other vehicles?

  • Driving at Night: Are they hesitant to drive in low-light conditions or at night?

  • Frequent Accidents: Has the number of accidents increased recently?


2. Open a Dialogue

  • Choose the Right Time: Find a quiet moment when your loved one is relaxed and not feeling rushed.

  • Express Concern: Begin by expressing your love and concern for their well-being.

  • Use "I" Statements: Focus on how their driving affects you, rather than blaming or accusing them. For example, "I feel worried about your safety when you drive at night."

  • Listen Actively: Be patient and attentive to their perspective. Allow them to share their thoughts and feelings.


3. Explore Alternatives

  • Public Transportation: Discuss the availability of public transportation options in your area.

  • Ride-Sharing Services: Explore ride-sharing apps or services that can provide transportation.

  • Family and Friends: Offer to help with transportation or errands.

  • Professional Driving Assessments: Consider having your loved one evaluated by a professional to assess their driving abilities.


4. Consider Professional Help

  • Gerontologist: A gerontologist can provide guidance and support in navigating these challenging conversations.

  • Therapist: A therapist can help your loved one cope with the emotional impact of losing their driving independence.


5. Be Patient and Supportive

  • Acknowledge Their Emotions: It's natural for your loved one to feel upset or defensive about losing their driving privileges.

  • Offer Support: Let them know that you are there for them and that you will help them find alternative ways to stay active and connected.


Remember, the goal is to ensure your loved one's safety and well-being. By approaching this conversation with empathy and understanding, you can work together to find a solution that meets their needs and provides peace of mind for the entire family.

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